All Access to the Boy Band_A Reverse Harem Romance Read online

  “And I want everyone to love it as much as I do.” I smiled back at him. The others faded away, and for a moment, it was only Todd and me, until stupid Alex groaned and ruined the whole thing. And I thought I had needed to get laid. “I’m dying to hear this new song.”

  The original version of the song sounded a lot like vintage Jupiter in Blue. Heavy on harmonies, showcasing Todd mostly, as he’d been crowned the singer, but giving Blake and Zach a chance to shine as well. The thing that impressed me the most was how accomplished they were as musicians. I used to catch a lot of shit from people for my Jupiter in Blue obsession, from the ones who thought a boy band had no talent, that they were parroting what the producers wanted them to do. And here these guys were, fighting for their musical lives. And then there were the others who admonished me for being so invested in people I didn’t know. These guys had never let me down, and that was why I hung onto them for dear life. Now that I was getting to know them, we shared something deeper than an acquaintance. The music had reached down and touched our souls.

  I had to tread carefully. I didn’t like the new version of the song at all. If I’d heard it for the first time on the radio, I would have been heartbroken. It wasn’t Jupiter in Blue. It was what someone else wanted them to be. The band might have come together under someone else’s vision, but they’d evolved and they deserved to be heard. Thick silence replaced the music at the end, and every eye was trained on me. Waiting. Hoping I’d be the one to fix this.

  There was only one shot to get it right.

  “I love the harmonies in the original version. All the old fans who haven’t followed Jupiter in Blue as closely as I have will recognize them the second they hear the song on the radio. But the spoken word thing is hot right now.” Which was how I’d make my point. “It might date the song quickly. It depends on what you’re doing. Is this one last swansong or the beginning of something new?”

  Please say a new beginning.

  “Hopefully the start of a reinvention,” Zach said softly. “You’re preaching to the choir, Alina. As Jupiter in Blue’s biggest fan, what do you think would excite the people who’ve been with us the beginning and catch the interest of people who haven’t listened to us before?”

  “You mean their kids.” Alex scoffed. “You’re trying to appeal to parents and kids, and you know how that’s going to work.”

  “You have to pick one or the other.” Now it was my turn to mean mug Alex. He’d squash any creative mojo within a ten-mile radius. “But I don’t think so. I think you should stay true to your sound, but with a modern twist. Showcase what you can do. Who Jupiter in Blue is. Why don’t you put the spoken part in the place where the solo is? You still get the effect, but the people who are looking for those amazing melodies won’t get left out.”

  Todd pulled me off the couch and into a tight hug. His body was rock hard and warm against mine, and I flashed back to last night, his hard cock inside me on the beach. And I was sad that I’d probably never get to share that with him again.

  “You’re a genius, Lina,” he whispered.

  It was exactly like one of my stories. They’d come to me for advice for a song. I trembled in his arms as vision and reality collided. It was so, so beautiful.

  Alex exhaled heavily. Someone needed to buy that man a hooker. “We can give it a try.”

  “Damn straight we will.” Everything sounded more refined with Blake’s accent.

  The guys abandoned their instruments to come together at a table on the other side of the of the mixing board.

  Hunter waved to me. “Come over, Alina. You’re part of this too.”

  I couldn’t read music. But I could suggest where I thought the spoken part should be and how much I thought it needed. I cut it down by about half. The guys shared a nervous look but then put their hands into the middle of the table, one on top of the other, like I’d seen them do in online videos. All for one.

  “Put yours on there too, Lina,” Zach said.

  I did, giving his hand a squeeze before it was over. The guys went back to their stations, ready for battle. This version of the song had an energy both other versions lacked. Because the band knew they were getting it right. And when Todd spoke those words, I want to see your soul from the inside, they were only for me.

  Forget paradise. I’d died and gone to heaven.

  “It’s good,” Alex said. Good didn’t cover it. It was fucking amazing. “I feel pretty confident sending that over to the executives and not getting my ass roasted.”

  High praise from the likes of him. A collective breath was let out in the room.

  “Please tell me that means we can send your sorry ass packing on a plane back to New York for the rest of the weekend,” Blake said.

  Alex grinned, and for the first time, it was genuine. That grumpy fucker liked my version of the song, whether he was willing to admit it or not. “I could say that I was approving the song because I wanted to go home. But if I send the record label trash, they’ll fire me right along with all of you. So yes, send a car for me. I’m sick of looking at your ugly faces.”

  He said his goodbyes to the band but stopped in front of me. “I hope you’re right.”

  “I’m right.” I smiled up at him. “Now get out of here.”

  The door closed behind him, and once again, I was alone with Jupiter in Blue.

  “We thought we’d never get rid of him.” Blake ran his hand over his stubble. The string lights reflected in his eyes, but that wasn’t what was making it hot in here. “Now, Lina, how are we ever going to thank you?”

  Chapter Six

  Lina was back, and I’d never been happier to see her. She always got what she wanted. For years, she’d only existed in a twilight haze, holding her hand out to me to rescue me from my reality. Now she was real and had Jupiter in Blue under her thrall. Like we existed in our own universe. Not quite fantasy and too good for reality.

  But first, Alina had some loose ends to tie up before she could hand over the reins.

  “The song was better your way.” I was only talking because the silence made me nervous. “The new version Alex is sending to the label is still true to that. A lot of people will be excited Jupiter in Blue is back.”

  Hunter’s knee sunk onto the cushion beside me on the couch. His drummer’s body was ready to strike, like a predator. He was still warm from playing, and I inhaled his spicy, manly scent as he put his arm around me. “We’re not talking about the song anymore. It’s story time.”

  I wondered if Todd had said anything to the rest of the guys about our night together. About how I shattered like a wave against a rock and then we walked back to the bungalows, hand in hand, stopping every so often because he couldn’t resist kissing me. We looked like all the couples we passed, the ones that were so in love. But what we had was so much different. Maybe it was so incredible because it wasn’t meant to last.

  I wasn’t the type of girl who did casual sex. I looked over to Todd. His gaze was fixed on me with a mixture of sadness, longing, and a little bit of emptiness that I wanted to make go away. But I couldn’t. My heart was the only part of my body he wasn’t supposed to touch.

  Todd’s gaze shifted to Hunter, who slid closer to me. There was something going on here, and I wasn’t sure if it was rivalry, jealousy, or acceptance. I could hardly breathe as Hunter pulled me against him.

  “My favorite story is the one where you ask if you can film me while I fuck you.” His breath tickled my cheek. “You like to be watched, don’t you?”

  It wasn’t some fetish. I wanted to be seen. Some days it felt like I was screaming into the void while everyone else passed me by, oblivious, like they were traveling along another frequency. But it was simpler to nod and let him think I was fearless than to explain that.

  Lina was the fearless one.

  “We have some equipment here,” he continued. “Casey’s been filming us in the studio. Posting it online to get people interested in the new album.”

&
nbsp; “I know.” Not smooth at all. But the way the guys’ faces lit up, I didn’t regret saying it. She’d told me about the surveillance, but there was no harm in telling them that wasn’t news to me. “I have an alert set up for new videos.”

  “This one won’t get an alert,” Hunter said softly. The other guys might not have been able to hear him. His voice was rich and thick like velvet, and I wanted to run my hands all over it. Wrap it around my body and get lost in its texture. “Unless you want it to.”

  “It’s just for us.” Our lips were so close. It would’ve been a shame not to kiss him. Lina didn’t leave opportunity like that on the table.

  He tasted as good as he smelled. I could not wait to have Hunter’s hot, naked body against mine for the full experience. I shied away from his gaze when the kiss was over. We had an audience. Tension and desire hung heavy in the room.

  I gave the rest of the band a coy smile. “Unless anyone else wants to see it.”

  “We all want to see it, Lina,” Blake said. His voice was jarring, and it would’ve been a violent disruption if I didn’t love the way my name sounded with his accent. That soft a that lasted forever. He straddled a chair backward like he needed a barrier to keep him from joining us. Oh yes, please. “We want to see all of you.”

  But this was Hunter’s turn. I wouldn’t invite Blake unless Hunter suggested it. I turned my attention back to the beautiful man whose taste lingered on my lips. “Where’s the setup?”

  His dark eyes brightened when he realized I was game. “I can bring it over to my bungalow,” he said. “Give me a few minutes to get things set up.”

  The bright island sun did nothing to soothe my daze when I went back to my bungalow to give Hunter time to set up. I pulled my fancy lingerie out of the bottom of my suitcase. I’d packed it on the pipe dream that any of my stories could possibly become reality, fully expecting to shove it back in my drawer when I got home, still clean with the promise unfulfilled.

  The lace and the makeup were unnecessary. Hunter wanted me. But I wanted to go through the ritual to make myself feel good. It had been a long time since I’d done anything but pull my dark, unruly hair into an elastic on the top of my head, scrubbed my face clean, and tackled the day. I burned my fingers on the curling iron and had to wipe mascara away from my lids, but as I spun around in my little sundress, I felt like I’d done Lina justice.

  Hunter’s bungalow was behind the studio, furthest from the ocean. I floated, my legs nothing but rubber as I went to knock on the door. Hunter Carmichael had been the most private member of the band. He kept out of the spotlight. Rumor had it, during the band’s hiatus he’d worked for his family’s construction company in Alabama. He’d never been reported as dating a starlet or getting into a bar fight after an award show. I was intrigued that he’d picked this story.

  Maybe I’d known all along that Hunter Carmichael needed to be seen too.

  He stood in the doorway, not opening the door completely. My mind flashed back to last night with Todd, when we were breathing in time with each other. I put my hand on Hunter’s chest to feel his heartbeat. He clasped his hand over mine, locking gazes with me.

  No wonder he was a drummer. Rhythm and song were what kept him alive.

  We kissed, standing in the doorway. The sun warmed my skin, and the darkness kept Hunter’s secrets. I wanted to pull him toward the beach and let the surf wash away his pain, but that wasn’t what he asked for. He wanted to show me his darkness. And I would drink it in and let it nourish me. Maybe it could wash away my pain.

  The room wasn’t totally dark—it was much like the studio, but instead of the overhead string lights, Hunter opted for candles. My heart twinged. It was a much more romantic gesture than any of my boyfriends had ever made for me. I ran my hand along Hunter’s smooth cheek.

  “Tell me about your last relationship.” I was treading into dangerous territory, but something told me this beautiful man had his heart broken. Injuries like that healed, but things were never the same.

  “I married my best friend. My soulmate. But she found a lump in her breast, and it wasn’t supposed to be fatal…” He shook his head like he had to force himself to keep talking.

  A part of me wanted to kiss him so he didn’t have to, but he needed to tell me this story. He had to honor the love of his life, even if it ripped the wounds fresh all over again.

  He steeled himself, like the mere memory could steal his late wife from him all over again. “The treatment worked, but they didn’t know it had already spread to her other organs. I lost her two years ago New Year’s Eve.”

  “I’m so sorry.” It was a whisper against his chest. We clung to each other in the low light of the bungalow. “I don’t exactly know what you went through, but I kinda do. Sometimes my mom has a really good day and I think she’s beat it and she’ll be back to her old self, but that person is gone.”

  Hunter nodded. “Natalie loved Jupiter in Blue. It was the main reason I asked the guys if they wanted to give the band one more try. It was a way to keep her memory alive. She knew the music made me happy.”

  “I bet it made her happy too. To see you on stage, doing what you love.” It was strange to think of a dead woman as lucky, but she’d been loved so wholly, so completely, that this man was willing to create art to keep her spirit alive. And she would touch every single person who heard those songs. What a legacy.

  His body relaxed under my touch, like he was with her instead of me. Shit. I knew I was asking for trouble when I brought this up. This man was haunted by his lost love.

  “Have you been with anyone else since…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. I didn’t have to.

  “No.”

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” He’d asked for something risky. This wasn’t dipping his toes in the waters of being with someone else. This was a cannonball. “I don’t mean the sex. The filming.”

  “A hundred percent sure.” He swallowed hard. “You’ll go home, but this goodbye won’t be forever. When you’re not with me anymore, I’ll have a piece of you that I can watch any time I want.”

  I should have said no. That I wouldn’t be the proxy for the woman who’d left him far too soon. But something told me in the girl code, Natalie would want Hunter to be happy. That she’d want him to have a chance to let out some of this pain he’d bottled and create something beautiful with it. It was fucked up reasoning, but I needed this for the same reasons he did.

  Hunter led me to the bed and motioned for me to sit on the edge. He went over to the camera, and a little green light glowed in the darkness. The mattress shifted under the weight of his knee when he crawled on the bed. He pushed my hair to the side and breathed in my scent. I wished I could get inside his mind and watch this scene through his eyes. Whether he was picturing one last time with his beloved Natalie or if I was the farthest thing from her.

  His hand landed on my breast, kneading it, caressing it as his hot breath sped up my pulse on contact. This kiss wasn’t sweet—it was hungry. Like he wanted to tear inside me and make my heartbeat bring his back to life. I reached for the hem of my skirt, but he quickly put his hand over mine.

  This was Hunter’s fantasy.

  As he pushed my dress off my shoulder, his hungry kisses covering my bare skin, I thought about what it would be like for him to watch this video when we were done. To see himself with another woman who wasn’t his wife. He pushed the straps down to my elbows and allowed me to wriggle from it before he guided me down on the mattress. A little green light glowed on the ceiling. There was no way he’d set that up now. He’d been thinking about this long before he suggested it minutes ago in the studio.

  He needed this.

  Hunter licked the edge of my bra. It had been a while since I’d worn this one, and my boobs were a little fuller than the last time. Everything had changed for me since the last time I’d been with a man. I was softer, and when I fell, it would hurt more.

  Sucking my nipple to a hard peak beneath
the lace, he grasped the band between my breasts, pulling it so hard I came off the bed until the underwire snapped.

  “Got a little carried away.” He rested his head against my shoulder when I landed back on the mattress. Tension filled his body, like he might change his mind. Like he realized he was here with me and not the ghost that haunted him.

  “It’s okay. Kinda fitting, actually.” I laughed. It was poetry that he’d ruined it. My ex had bought the bra for me for my birthday, and I wore it the night he told me things weren’t working out as he planned. That happened shortly after I’d moved back in with my mom, right after she started to decline. I’d had to cancel on him a few times, and he didn’t like that.

  Hunter picked up his head and studied me. “Why’s that?”

  “I haven’t had a lot of time to think about dating lately.” I ran my hand over his short, curly hair. “I don’t want to be sad right now. When all this is over and I watch this video at home, I want to see what I looked like when I wasn’t sad.”

  “I hear that.” The light returned to his eyes when he exhaled, and his fingers lazily trailed over my bare nipple. It ached for more. But instead, he sat up. “Show me what you’ll do when you watch the video.”

  But first, he had something to show me. He pulled his shirt over his head. Good lord, he was ripped. All those years playing drums had given him wide shoulders and a tight ripple of muscles on his stomach. I lifted my hips and let him pull my dress off me.

  He left my panties on. I traced the pattern of the lace, closing my eyes and imagining the feel of his lips on his skin. Like I’d have to when I went home. He was so close—it was torture not having him kiss me. Time and distance would only make it worse. I hated myself for not wanting to go home, for wishing I could run away from my responsibilities and stay here forever.

  My hips bucked when I touched my clit. I was still pleasantly sore from last night, and my body screamed for more. I needed this. I teased the sensitive skin, loving the way it swelled and tightened under my touch. Slipping my fingers under the lace, I traced along the wet heat, pinching the sensitive nub until I moaned.